![]() No more frustration / No star-crossed lover am I / No aggravation / Just one reluctant reply / "Lady, goodbye!" The Fountain of Youth is dull as paint / Methuselah is my patron saint / I've never been so comfortable before / Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore. The longing to end the stale affair / until you find out she doesn't care / I'm glad I'm not young anymore. The tiny remark that tortures you / The fear that your friends won't like her too / I'm glad I'm not young anymore. No more confusion / No morning-after surprise / No self-delusion / That when you're telling those lies / she isn't wise / And even if love comes through the door / the chance that goes on forevermore / Forevermore is shorter than before / Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore. The rivals that don't exist at all / The feeling you're only two feet tall / I'm glad that I'm not young anymore. ![]() Honore Lachaille: Poor boy! Poor boy! / Downhearted and depressed and in a spin! / Poor boy! Poor boy! / Oh, youth can really do a fellow in! How lovely to sit here in the shade / with none of the woes of man and maid / I'm glad I'm not young anymore. Oh, what a poor defenseless pair / in those pathetic rags they wear. Here are some others to behold / for whom the bells have never tolled. These ladies stood their ground and won / and I salute them, every one. Honore Lachaille: Now for example here we find / Exhibit A, the married kind. But in Paris, those who will not marry are usually men, and those who do not marry are usually women. There are some who will not marry, and some who do not marry. Like everywhere else, most people in Paris get married, but not all. Married: what for? Now please don't misunderstand. Honore Lachaille: Yes, definitely younger. Profession: lover, and collector of beautiful things. This is 1900, so let's just say not in this century. Who am I? Well, allow me to introduce myself: I am Honore Lachaille. Honore Lachaille: Good afternoon! As you see, this lovely city all around us is Paris, and this lovely park is of course the Bois de Boulogne. Gaston Lachaille: She's so gay tonight / She's like spring tonight / She's a rollicking, frolicking thing tonight / So disarming, soft and charming / She is not thinking of me / No, she's not thinking of me! In her eyes tonight / There's a glow tonight / They're so bright they could light Fountainbleu tonight / She's so gracious, so vivacious / She is not thinking of me! Bless her little heart / Crooked to the core / Acting out a part / What a rollicking, frolicking bore! She's such fun tonight / She's a treat tonight / You could spread her on bread, she's so sweet tonight / So devoted, sugar-coated / That it's heart-warming to see / Oh, she's simmering with love / Oh, she's shimmering with love / Oh, she's not thinking of me! She is not thinking of me! / Someone has set her on fire / Is it Jacques? Is it Paul or Leon? / Who's turning her furnace up higher? / Oh she's hot, but it's not for Gaston! Oh, she's gay tonight / Oh, so gay tonight / A gigantic, romantic cliché tonight / How she blushes, how she gushes / How she fills me with ennui! / She's so ooh-la-la-la-la, so UNTRUE-la-la-la-la / Oh, she's not thinking of me! Gaston Lachaille: These aren't the things we have to talk about together! That's all in the past, over and done with! Gigi: Yes, Gaston. I know about the woman who stole from you, the Contessa who wanted to shoot you, the American who wanted to marry you. Gaston Lachaille: Who's been filling your head with all these old stories? How do you know about that? Gigi: Why shouldn't I know? You're world famous. And then you'd give me up, as you did with Inèz des Cèvennes. And when we fight, it will be in all the columns the next day. That I shall go to the Riviera, to the races at Deauville. ![]() To "take care of me" means that I shall have my photograph in the papers. And Grandmamma wasn't embarrassed to talk to me about it. ![]() Gaston Lachaille: Please, Gigi, I beg of you! You embarrass me! Gigi: You weren't embarrassed to talk to Grandmamma about it. To "take care of me beautifully" means I shall go away with you. They've pounded into my head I'm backward for my age. Gaston Lachaille: To take care of you beautifully. Gigi: You told Grandmamma that you wanted to take care of me. Gigi: Do you mean that? Gaston Lachaille: Of course. Gaston Lachaille: I know what I told your grandmother. ![]()
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